Category Archives: self help

A New Kind of Gratitude

I just finished reading an article about Leah Dieterich who wrote a book called, In it she writes about how grateful she is about everything. Apparently her mom taught her at an early age that she should write thank you notes. She has taken this concept one step further and writes thank you notes to all kinds of people, objects, ideas, places and things. Her writing is whimsical, yet literal and her gratefulness shows through in each one of her entries, even when a bit on the satirical side. I was impressed, yes even inspired, so inspired that I want to dedicate today’s blog to some off the wall situations I am grateful for.

I am grateful that my sister is able to be at home and not in the hospital because the medicine she is taking via a pic line is working. I am grateful that she isn’t in pain and that she can be in the familiar surroundings of her home with her husband and other family members.

I am grateful for my husband, who is disabled and yet he comes to work every day, seven days a week. I am grateful for his love for our business and his willingness to work so hard.

I am grateful for the business tenets we have in the front of our building. I am grateful for the work they do to enhance the value of my building. I am grateful that they water the flowers and shrubs, even when I was going to do it anyway, but hadn‘t gotten around to it yet.

I am grateful for my mom who brought over a couple Boson Heads to hang on the wall. They were both broken but I know she meant well. She knows how much I love them.

I am grateful that my daughter and her family are coming down from Boston later this month for a visit. I won’t see as much of them as the rest of my family will, but a little time is better than no time.

I am grateful for my friend George who offered to come and weed eat in front of my shoppe and spray weed killer. When he offers to help like this he seldom show up. He didn’t show up today, but someone else did and so the job got done anyway.

I am grateful for my friend Ron who always shows up when he says he will and helps me more than he should, but I know he loves what he is doing.

I am grateful for my friend Shane who has done so much work for us. I am trying to get some paid work for him. He is a great guy. Anyone need work done?

I am grateful for my friend who works at the quilt shoppe. She has a hard time accepting a co-worker. Even when I remind her that God loves them both equally, she still can’t find it in her heart to accept her. It makes me laugh a little because she is so willing to harbor anger and resentment when with a bit of an attitude adjustment they could become fast friends. I like them both, their “friendship“ keeps me on my toes.

We all have so many things to be grateful for. We just need to look around. Leah has opened my eyes to a brand new method of being grateful and I think I’m in love.

Love and gratitude,




Life of Abundance Also Means Eating Healthy

Living a  life of abundance means more than having enough money.  It means every area of your life is in balance and that includes your sleeping habits.  You can use the Law of Attraction all you want, but if your  mind and body aren’t rested and alert, then  you won’t be in sync with your dreams.

One reason many people lose sleep is insomnia.  Although symptoms normally last only a few nights, some sufferers have had symptoms last for months or even years. Uncontrolled insomnia can cause you to feel addle brained, fatigued and unable to concentrate on making your dreams come true. 

As a former insomniac, I suffered from frequent sleepless nights.  I  would toss and turn, get leg cramps, have wild dreams, and on occasion even my dog would say he’d had enough and jump off the bed in search of a more comfortable spot to sleep.  During the day I felt fatigued, fuzzy headed and unable to concentrate. I didn’t want to take drugs so I researched different remedies.  It soon became apparent that two of my favorite foods which I consumed on a daily basis were detrimental to my ability to sleep.  I faced either giving them up completely, or at the very least cutting down on them. The two culprits were sugar and caffeine.

In my research I learned that sugar generates the fuel your body needs to function. So if you are flooding  your body with sugar at the same time you are trying to wind down and sleep, it stands to reason that your brain might be confused about where to focus its attention. I also learned that caffeine affects sleep in a different way.  It is actually an addictive substance which stimulates the brain  similarly to amphetamines. It is the biggest substance we ingest in food that is linked to insomnia. So in order to control my insomnia I had to control my intake of sugar and caffeine. I now eat no refined sugar and only two cups of coffee in the morning, then I switch to decaf. 

I found something else out during my research.  Just as there are foods to reve you up there are also foods which help induce sleep. Broccoli and honey are such foods.  As far back as biblical times, honey has been deemed a perfect food. It  is an all natural food and was so precious that in some ancient cultures it was a food for only those in the highest stations. Honey contains tryptophan, which helps trigger the brain to secrete the natural sleep hormone melatonin. It is also full of antioxidants, including vitamin C and trace amounts of other vitamins and minerals.

Broccoli is a great food to include in a nutrient rich diet and like honey, contains different substances which aid restful sleep.  The vitamin C found in broccoli is an antioxidant.  Your body needs this vitamin to help deal  with stress and fatigue. When stress is lowered your body is  able to relax and can actually repair damaged cells. .

Most people don’t want to hear about fiber, but the fiber found in broccoli is digested slowly which helps your body get a  steady energy flow instead of the quick up and at em that sugar provides.This  slow flow of energy  is essential to restful sleep.

Honey and broccoli are just a small part of an overall healthy diet which the body needs to maintain balance and restful sleep.  So pay attention to the foods you choose to eat. Eating a diet full of nutrient rich natural foods  will keep you healthy and alert so you can concentrate on making your dreams come true.

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Posted by on June 14, 2011 in self help, victorious life


Loving the Unlovable

Some people just make you so mad that you classify them as unlovable.  No matter what you do, they seem unapproachable, demeaning and critical.  Their way is the only way and their holier than thou attitude comes off as haute.  Do you know anyone like this? Maybe even more than one. If your life is miserable because of them, let’s explore ideas to help you  live with them and be content at the same time.  An oxymoron you say, not really.

In order to learn to be able to live with these people we need to set some groundwork first.  As is often true, one specific idea isn’t the answer but when you put several ideas together you create a plan that works. So let’s start with who you really are. 

If you have ever read any of Jerry and Esther Hicks’ books you  already know that Esther channels Abraham.  According to Abraham, all of us are eternal spiritual beings, who occasionally desire to add dimension to ourselves by entering the physical world.  So idea one is that we are spiritual beings living in a physical world.

Here on earth our physical bodies don’t allow us quite the same access to God and therefore we resist much of our spiritual knowledge in lieu of worldly knowledge.  As we grow from children into adults we assimilate more and more of what the physical world assumes as truth.  We allow our parents and our culture to dictate what is right and what is wrong.  We look outside ourselves for leadership instead of reaching inward to who we really are.  So idea two is to understand we have the ability to reference  knowledge thro our human nature as well as our spiritual nature but we most often make deisions based on our physical nature. 

Idea three is to reconcile our physical knowledge with your nonphysical knowledge. Doing so makes us complete.  Abraham explains this by saying that when we are in the spiritual dimension we do not “feel” separated from God because there is no resistance to receiving His knowledge. But the physical world creates resistance and so as we adopt more and more worldly views, the separation  from who we really are grows.  This separation causes negative feelings and we lose our way spiritually. 

If you want to feel complete you need to get back on the right track.   When you realize the answers the world presents aren’t necessarily the right ones for you and  investigate who you really are for the answer, you begin to reconcile your physical and nonphysical self. The right answer for you is always where these two parts agree.Therefore idea four is to find the common ground between physical and nonphysical knowledge.

The whole premise of this article is to find a way to love the unlovable.  By putting all the above ideas together you can see that when you are unable to feel love for another of God’s creations it is not a problem between you and them.  It is a problem between you and you.  You have allowed  someone else get between you physical self and who you really are instead of relying on your spiritual self for the guidance you need.  Your spiritual connection is always your best guidance system.  Do not allow what others think, do or say to interfere with what you already know is best for you. God is love and when you feel another is unlovable, you have allowed yourself to become separated from Him, which contributes to the hardship you experience in this plane. Stay connected with your inner spiritual guidance system so you can resume your proper course and love, love, love, even the unlovable. 

Peace and Love,




Do You Have Your Toolbox Packed?

Affirmations and other self help utilities are more than just toys, they are tools that help you be the person you want to be and to help you navigate to where you want to go.  For me, getting from where I am now to where I want to go is a life journey.  I have encountered many ups and downs and I don’t perceive the road ahead is going to be flat and without ruts (how boring).  In order to be prepared for my life journey I have brought along a tool box.  It includes everything I need to make the journey a success. 

 I expect my life journey to be bumpy, so in my self help tool box I have such things as positive affirmations, joy, faith, generosity, forgiveness, prayer and gratitude. Some of these tools I have written about previously, but today I want to write about why each of them is not only a tool but also a building block and when used together they create a firm foundation for success.

For me the end result has to be joy. Joy is my firm foundation.  I want to feel joyful all the time.  I want joy to be my primary emotion because it lessens the effects of the bumps in the road. When you can count it all joy, you are able to realize that whatever is happening in your life is exactly what needs to be happening in order for you to succeed.  Joy counteracts all negative feelings.  It is contagious as well. When you are joyful other people want to be around you.   They may even ask, ” why are you so happy all the time?” 

In order to focus on joy, you need to be able to use the other tools first.  The most basic tool is positive affirmations. It is the screw driver in my tool box.  If you can’t keep this tool straight then joy will elude you.  One of my favorite affirmations is, “I am awesome.” That statement makes me feel so good.  I have no trouble telling myself that all day long, especially when things are beginning to get me down.  The internet is full of sites dealing with positive affirmations so if you haven’t already, do a search and begin to get your tool box in order.

Faith is like glue.  You won’t keep anything together without it.  Faith is something we shouldn’t even have to think about.  We just need to know, that we know what we know.  Did you get that?  Faith creates hope.  For when we know what we can expect from the future, based on our faith, then we are more able to hope for all things good.  Faith allows us to realize that whatever happens, we are taken care of. 

When you have faith that life is all good then you are more willing to use the next tool in the box, gratitude.  Gratitude is the power cord which powers up all your tools. It speeds up the process of getting the job down.  It is a high vibrational force that propels good things to happen.  It is a tool that should be well taken care of, for without gratitude, none of the other tools will work very well, you faith may begin to fail and there will never be joy.  Find gratitude in even the smallest things and your foundation will be firm.

Gratefulness leads to generosity.  I like to think of generosity as  the nails in my tool box. I need them to put my own foundation together, but so does everyone else.  So instead of hoarding unused nails,  share them.  Pass on just a few  or pass on a whole bucket full.  When you realize how great life is going, you will  want to share your abundance with others.   That sharing helps joyful feelings to emerge within you, which is what we all want.  Generosity can as little as leaving your spare change for the Ronald McDonald House or it can be as grand as a million dollar donation to your favorite university. 

Doing things for others is another way to be generous but it can sometimes lead to misunderstandings, so forgiveness is another important tool to keep close by. Forgiveness can chisel away whatever stands in the way of moving forward. It counteracts unforgiveness which is corrosive. Explore your relationships and figure out who you need to forgive.  It might just be yourself.

Prayer is the last tool in my tool box.  It is like a level.  Nothing will look right or feel right if you don’t make sure it’s all square.  Just like a level, prayer needs to be used before, during and after a project.  It helps you realize where you are and if you are in balance.  But more than being balanced it allows praise and thanks to flow freely from your heart and out into the universe. When you can be this open in your prayers, joy is not far behind and as your joy  ripples through the universe, it touches many lives, while it seeks to come back to you.

Knowing what tools you need for your life’s journey is something you might like to explore. Keep tour tiils simple and light. For me, it is what I have proposed here.  My tool box is always at the ready to work for me. I have spent time learning how to use each tool individually and how they all work together.  They are essential part of my life and as long as I use them in a positive fashion, I know my life is going to be awesome.

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Posted by on June 6, 2011 in self help, victorious life



One of my favorite authors, Dr. Wayne Dyer wrote, “if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Wow, what a great way to allude to the fact that our attitude makes all the difference in how we perceive life.  Instantaneously we can choose to overcome any negative ideal we hold true. I have chosen not to be a loser anymore.  Instead I choose to defeat whatever stands  in the way of my dreams. 

Fear was, for a long time, my dream killer. It controlled my life.  In fact, until recently, whenever I was faced with something I felt was beyond me, my inner voice would say, “I’m so scared.”  Now, I boldly tell myself, ” I will not let fear stand in my way of attaining my dreams because my dreams are bigger and better than all of my fear.’ 

I have always been a big dreamer, but turning those dreams into reality is a different story.  It wasn’t until I found myself planning to open an ice cream shoppe with my husband and mother that I realized I had lost other dreams because I let fear stand in the way.  In this instance, I am not sure if my fear was fear of failure or fear of success or a combination of the two, but at a certain point in the planning, I just wanted to turn around and run.  The thought of what we were trying to accomplish was so overwhelming that I wasn’t convinced we could make it work. Yet my partners didn’t feel the same way. Instead they kept moving toward the goal.  Eventually I came to realize that it was going to work and my fear subsided. 

Another time fear paralyzed me was in high school; I wasn’t the best student.  I realize now that my study skills had a lot to do with it, but at the time the fear that I wasn’t smart enough held me back from even trying.  I decided I would just cop out on life, get married and have a family. In the mean time all my siblings went on to college and I began to feel like the village idiot.  It wasn’t until my own children went off to college that I made an attempt to go myself.  I breezed through, graduating from one of the most prestigious colleges in the south.

I am writing all this so I may be an example. I want you to face fear straight on,so you can overcome it. Kick fear to the curb.  Most of what you fear will never comes to fruition anyway.  Rather than succumbing to fear, open the door to courage.  Take a deep breath in and say, “I am courageous.”  Breathe out saying, “I let go of fear.”  Whenever you feel fear, make this your mantra.  . 

A more abundant life is now open to you as you start living a life free of fear.  No longer will  you want your head to be hung in shame.You will smile more, and even stand up straighter as complete strangers acknowledge the new you. Dream big and work hard at making all those dreams come true.

Love and Abundance,


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Posted by on June 1, 2011 in Fear, self help, victorious life


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Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote that, “enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success.  When you do a thing, do it with all your mind.  Put your whole soul into it.  Stamp it with your own personality.  Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful and you will accomplish your object.  Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm.”  In my opinion, he was and still is, so right on about being enthusiastic.   

The most important thing we need to stay enthusiastic about is our life. Knowing what your long and short term goals are and then moving towards them is a good way to stay enthused.  One of the best ways to keep these goals in the forefront of your mind is to frame your goals into  a mission statement. This statement should include topics of importance to you such as wealth, family, spirituality, a car, a house, a job, etc.  Focusing on these goals and not paying unnecessary attention to peripheral ideas, will keep your mind from becoming cluttered with thoughts that might cause you to worry or even create fear.   Fear and worry are enthusiasm killers. 

Another way to stay enthusiastic is to be grateful for all things.  An attitude of gratitude leaves no room for negative thinking which can also kill enthusiasm.  By keeping a daily log of the things you are grateful for, you will automatically create enthusiasm for life.  As you write each statement down you will feel your enthusiasm building.  Your enthusiasm in turn will become a catalyst for others to feel good.  Think of it as a way of paying it forward.  How easy is that? 

Along with gratefulness and a life mission statement, it is important to forgive as unforgiveness can also be a detriment to enthusiasm.  When you are constantly perseverating over the wrongs done to you then you don’t have time to think about all the good things going for you.You will lose track of your goals and could even deviate from them altogether.  Lest we forget; unforgiveness isn’t good for you.  It can make you sick, emotionally and/or physically and it is hard to be enthusiastic when you don’t feel well. 

Another fun way to stay enthusiastic  is to create a vision board.  Mine takes up one whole wall in my office where I have a combination of both images and sayings.  Every time I look up from my computer I see my future already planned out. It is a constant reminder of what I want for myself and I work daily  towards those goals.

These four activities are a sampling of things you can do to remain enthusiastic about life, yet they aren’t the only ones.  Once you have embraced the need to stay enthused about your goals, you will figure out what you need to do in order to keep the momentum going, My list should be used as kick start to forming your own.

Good Luck in all your endeavors.  May the Enthusiasm be with you.

Peace, love and Joy,


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Posted by on May 31, 2011 in enthusiasm, self help


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I am Victorious

Hey Folks….  This is day number two of writing my blog and I am really getting into it.  So much so that I have already come to the conclusion that my original idea of writing a blog geared towards victims isn’t really what I want.   I hate to be called a victim.  It is such a limiting label.  I want to be victorious.  I can do anything when I am VICTORIOUS.  Therefore, if I don’t want to label myself a victim, how can I justify calling anyone else a victim, especially if my desire is to help others grow. 

When we embark on changing our life for the better we become victors.  Just trying to change makes us victorious.  We may not always reach our goal, but we tried and that effort is worth something.  It shows that we have what it takes.  We may lack important information needed to reach a goal, but the  information we lack is readily available somewhere. We just need to find it. So don’t give up, you are on the right course.

In the last few months I have been writing a short booklet I call, LIVING A LIFE OF JOYFUL EXPECTANCY.  In it I discuss several topics I believe we all need to embrace in order to be happy.  Even more than happy; joyful.  And with joy comes victory.  It was not my original plan to share it here but I have changes my mind as this blog seems headed in that direction.  So in the next days and weeks I will post snippets here to give some umph to my blog points.

Have a wonderful victorious day.

Peace and love,


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Posted by on May 27, 2011 in self help


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